As you read my essays, emails, blogs and web sites you will learn that I tend to be VERY open, honest and transparent. I was not always that way. When I first come off drugs in 1975 I was extremely shy. It was a major effort for me to talk with anyone that I did not already know well.
Over the decades God has healed me and led me to become the way I am today.
A part of my process was to spend many hundreds of hours in secular and later Christian 12 step meetings http://www.celebraterecovery.com/ . There I witnessed repeatedly that those who candidly shared their inner struggles and feelings were ALWAYS the same ones that made the most progress in their recovery. There is a saying that you are a sick as your secrets. And I have found that there is an ocean of wisdom in those words. I am sick of being sick so I seek to cast over board my secrets.
Over the years I have come to not be as worried about what people think or say about me. I seek to just be real. That includes my weaknesses and strengths. I see Paul as doing that in the epistles.
Another key factor in my process is that I responded to the call on my life that came shortly after my rebirth in 1977. As I move more into practical ministry as serving, helping and encouraging people in my daily walk I felt that something must be very wrong. Back during the 1980s those who were in the pulpits NEVER admitted having ANY struggles in their personal life or ministry. That has changed slowly and slightly. But it gives the impression that the pastor or radio minister is immuned to problems. We know that is a lie, but such hiding and denial just leads to other matters. SO I admit that I may have over reacted to that trend during my formative years.
Another factor is that my life is punctuated by God answering prayers. I would have overdosed gone directly to hell forever back during my drug and cults days of the early 1970 expect for many intercessors prevailing in their prayer closet. I treasure their ministry in my life. Those saints need to know SPECIFICS to best target their prayers.
Today we are in the midst to major chaotic changes. The stable reference points of life are mostly gone. As a society we are adrift.
I am aiming to make disciples of the younger generation. Those in their teens and twenties live in a world of raw unfiltered language in the songs and movies. I do not need to crude or profane. But nice church talk seems like a fake to them.
I am called do God to design a pioneering communication system over the web in order to communicate the truth in love. I have dedicated my ENTIRE life to complete my calling. I must walk circumspectly yet authentically.
Some people are intimidated by my zeal, intensity, intellect, knowledge and/or creativity. If I have invested as much time and energy into a sport or musical instrument then I would be performing at a high level. Also I am quick to acknowledge that is it the grace of God and His Holy Spirit working through me.
There are believers that tend to put those who ministry on a pedestal and others to tend to try to knock them off. I want let anyone know that I am in process. I am learning . I have weaknesses. I have not arrived. I have feet of clay.
There are chronic alcoholics who cannot afford to even take a sip of Champaign on New Years Eve least it send them into an alcoholic binge. There are those who cannot have a bag of cookies in their house because their weakness is to eat them all at one time. For them that is their slippery slope.
For me the slippery slope is Internet pornography. And I am not alone. Bruce Wilkerson took confidential polls of various audiences. He found that 60% of the men in the pews 30 percent in the pulpit have visited a pornographic site in the last 3 months.
For me is had been 12 months since the last slip. During that slip it went from a half hour visit to the Madona site to 10 days later staying up all night for 8 hours on the most hard core sites. I was tempted start spending money insted of sampling the free stuff. Go to the Tuesday Briefing blog to read how God rescued me due to much prayer. http://tuesdaybriefings.blogspot.com/2003_10_12_tuesdaybriefings_archive.html I am not bragging in my peity. I am thankful for the grace and God and many prayers that helped keep me from that evil.
For me to hide this Achilles Heel from the intercessors would be foolish. I am in the midst the other spiritual challenges. The enemy wants to derail me.
If you read my emails carefully you will note that I make general reference to these matters. I do not get into the graphic details. God has a few trusted people in my life for that purpose. And the same is true of the episodes of depression. The broader audience does not hear about my darkest thoughts and feelings.
Over the decades God has healed me and led me to become the way I am today.
A part of my process was to spend many hundreds of hours in secular and later Christian 12 step meetings http://www.celebraterecovery.com/ . There I witnessed repeatedly that those who candidly shared their inner struggles and feelings were ALWAYS the same ones that made the most progress in their recovery. There is a saying that you are a sick as your secrets. And I have found that there is an ocean of wisdom in those words. I am sick of being sick so I seek to cast over board my secrets.
Over the years I have come to not be as worried about what people think or say about me. I seek to just be real. That includes my weaknesses and strengths. I see Paul as doing that in the epistles.
Another key factor in my process is that I responded to the call on my life that came shortly after my rebirth in 1977. As I move more into practical ministry as serving, helping and encouraging people in my daily walk I felt that something must be very wrong. Back during the 1980s those who were in the pulpits NEVER admitted having ANY struggles in their personal life or ministry. That has changed slowly and slightly. But it gives the impression that the pastor or radio minister is immuned to problems. We know that is a lie, but such hiding and denial just leads to other matters. SO I admit that I may have over reacted to that trend during my formative years.
Another factor is that my life is punctuated by God answering prayers. I would have overdosed gone directly to hell forever back during my drug and cults days of the early 1970 expect for many intercessors prevailing in their prayer closet. I treasure their ministry in my life. Those saints need to know SPECIFICS to best target their prayers.
Today we are in the midst to major chaotic changes. The stable reference points of life are mostly gone. As a society we are adrift.
I am aiming to make disciples of the younger generation. Those in their teens and twenties live in a world of raw unfiltered language in the songs and movies. I do not need to crude or profane. But nice church talk seems like a fake to them.
I am called do God to design a pioneering communication system over the web in order to communicate the truth in love. I have dedicated my ENTIRE life to complete my calling. I must walk circumspectly yet authentically.
Some people are intimidated by my zeal, intensity, intellect, knowledge and/or creativity. If I have invested as much time and energy into a sport or musical instrument then I would be performing at a high level. Also I am quick to acknowledge that is it the grace of God and His Holy Spirit working through me.
There are believers that tend to put those who ministry on a pedestal and others to tend to try to knock them off. I want let anyone know that I am in process. I am learning . I have weaknesses. I have not arrived. I have feet of clay.
There are chronic alcoholics who cannot afford to even take a sip of Champaign on New Years Eve least it send them into an alcoholic binge. There are those who cannot have a bag of cookies in their house because their weakness is to eat them all at one time. For them that is their slippery slope.
For me the slippery slope is Internet pornography. And I am not alone. Bruce Wilkerson took confidential polls of various audiences. He found that 60% of the men in the pews 30 percent in the pulpit have visited a pornographic site in the last 3 months.
For me is had been 12 months since the last slip. During that slip it went from a half hour visit to the Madona site to 10 days later staying up all night for 8 hours on the most hard core sites. I was tempted start spending money insted of sampling the free stuff. Go to the Tuesday Briefing blog to read how God rescued me due to much prayer. http://tuesdaybriefings.blogspot.com/2003_10_12_tuesdaybriefings_archive.html I am not bragging in my peity. I am thankful for the grace and God and many prayers that helped keep me from that evil.
For me to hide this Achilles Heel from the intercessors would be foolish. I am in the midst the other spiritual challenges. The enemy wants to derail me.
If you read my emails carefully you will note that I make general reference to these matters. I do not get into the graphic details. God has a few trusted people in my life for that purpose. And the same is true of the episodes of depression. The broader audience does not hear about my darkest thoughts and feelings.
