FEAR OF FAILURE AND SUCCESS
5-31-04
The Bible says confess your sins one to another; pray for each other that you may be healed.
The Bible calls fear a sin and so do I.
I confess the sin of the fear of failure.
I also confess the sin of the fear of success.
I have been wondering why I am not eager to go out and make presentations.
A BIG part of the reason is the fears of failure and success.
IMAGES
It is like I have been behind the scenes for decades.
I have privately helped dozens of people one-on-one.
I have quietly prepared for a pubic ministry.
Now it the time to move from behind the curtains into the spot light.
It is like I irrationally I fear rotten tomatoes thrown at me.
This is highly unlikely but my vivid imagination can generate the fear.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that public ministry is God’s will.
I recall when I was newly called of God in the late 1970s.
I would pray earnestly for long intervals.
Repeatedly the Holy Spirit gave me images of speaking to large audiences.
It took a long while before I fully accepted that vision.
The few times I have spoken in pubic I enjoyed it.
At the core of my soul there is RELUCTANCE.
This reluctance is from the twin fears of failure and success.
It is like I am driving on the freeway with the emergency brake on.
I feel like a missionary that has prepared for a mission field.
I am about to go off into the unknown.
I will be pioneering a discipleship and evangelism work on the Internet.
I have never been there before nor has anyone else.
The fear of the unknown fuels the fears of failure and success.
Previous I have said that presenting to wealthy business owners is like slaying Goliath.
I wrestle not against flesh and blood.
My Goliath is inside of me.
But there is no body to go implement these solutions unless I blaze the trail.
Thus I must face my fears to turn the plans into reality.
FEAR OF FAILURE
Obviously I know how to plan and organize.
I have improved in these areas over the years due to much practice.
BUT previously I have STALLED at about the same place over and over.
I am quickly approaching a familiar brick wall.
The fear of failure has kept me from taking the show on the road before.
At some point I need to go to a person that I have never met before and ask for money.
This is true of every missionary and person that is starting a ministry.
I can go to my friends first but they do not have big bucks.
Like any salesman I need to learn how to find those who will be interested.
During the coming weeks those I know will give me referrals to others.
Sooner than later I will be talking with those who can afford to write large checks.
I feel afraid of making a fool of myself.
I fear that the presentation will be sloppy.
I fear that I will ramble around and not get to the point.
I fear that will have wasted the busy persons time.
I fear that they will not donate.
I fear that they will tell others not to give.
Almost the jobs I have had were in customer service.
I know how to take good care of an existing customer.
But the few times I have been in sales I fumbled it badly.
Over the years I have attended dozens of fund raising seminars.
I have kept the handouts.
I have bought various books on fund raising.
Along the way I learned that my fears are normal.
Those who have been doing this for years still have butterflies.
The FACT is that not EVERY person will give.
Some will give and most will not.
There will be between 20 to 50 percent donors depending how well qualified they are.
SO rejection comes with the territory.
I know mentally that they are not rejecting me.
I know mentally that it is unreasonable to expect every single person to give.
The fund raising Boot Camp taught that the way to combat this is to just keep going.
Track how many contact each week and report to an accountability partner.
Over the course of the weeks and months the percentages will pay off.
There will be plenty of excitement and encouragement for those who do give.
Mentally I know this and it is central to my strategy.
BUT emotionally the irrational fear of failure or rejection has been blocking me.
REPEATEDLY the Holy Spirit has assured me that there are those who will give generously.
AFTER I get into motion and walk through this wall of fire, it will get easier.
AFTER thousands dollars are raised the consultants will help me make it more professional.
AFTER the web platform is launched then there will be lots of measurable results.
FEAR OF SUCCESS
In order to honor God and His Word I MUST tell the truth.
The pure and simple gospel message is not complicated.
But Paul was persecuted for sticking to grace orientation.
Jesus promised persecution for those who follow His way.
This dark world hates the light of Christ.
Many will love what I offer but some will hate it.
They will hate me because they first hated Christ.
I will not be the only voice of the ministry.
I will endeavor to preset what the Bible says from a chorus of voices.
I will point to contemporary and historic writers.
I will link to all the web sites that are biblically orthodox.
I will open the door to seminary students and graduates to teach.
I will gladly publish the testimonies of those in the pews.
This will GREATLY encourage, edify and inspire those who love Jesus.
But I FEAR the reactions from others.
There will be unbelievers and religious church members that will attack me.
During the coming months and years I will need to minister more publicly.
It has been safe and easy to live in the shadows of the library and online.
I am not afraid of public speaking as long as I know my message.
I do not have anything to hide.
I am willing to own my checkered past.
ANTIDOTE
The Holy Spirit has reminded me about Joshua.
Both Moses and the Lord charged him to be strong and courageous.
So I ask your prayers for strength and courage.
You can pray for God to give me wisdom and insight.
Again as I FOCUS on what I can do ONE DAY AT A TIME that helps.
My daily plans are more in harmony with my overall priorities
Surely Jesus will perfect my faith as I pray and take action steps.
As I learn the lessons of this passage they will be valuable for those coming behind me.
5-31-04
The Bible says confess your sins one to another; pray for each other that you may be healed.
The Bible calls fear a sin and so do I.
I confess the sin of the fear of failure.
I also confess the sin of the fear of success.
I have been wondering why I am not eager to go out and make presentations.
A BIG part of the reason is the fears of failure and success.
IMAGES
It is like I have been behind the scenes for decades.
I have privately helped dozens of people one-on-one.
I have quietly prepared for a pubic ministry.
Now it the time to move from behind the curtains into the spot light.
It is like I irrationally I fear rotten tomatoes thrown at me.
This is highly unlikely but my vivid imagination can generate the fear.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that public ministry is God’s will.
I recall when I was newly called of God in the late 1970s.
I would pray earnestly for long intervals.
Repeatedly the Holy Spirit gave me images of speaking to large audiences.
It took a long while before I fully accepted that vision.
The few times I have spoken in pubic I enjoyed it.
At the core of my soul there is RELUCTANCE.
This reluctance is from the twin fears of failure and success.
It is like I am driving on the freeway with the emergency brake on.
I feel like a missionary that has prepared for a mission field.
I am about to go off into the unknown.
I will be pioneering a discipleship and evangelism work on the Internet.
I have never been there before nor has anyone else.
The fear of the unknown fuels the fears of failure and success.
Previous I have said that presenting to wealthy business owners is like slaying Goliath.
I wrestle not against flesh and blood.
My Goliath is inside of me.
But there is no body to go implement these solutions unless I blaze the trail.
Thus I must face my fears to turn the plans into reality.
FEAR OF FAILURE
Obviously I know how to plan and organize.
I have improved in these areas over the years due to much practice.
BUT previously I have STALLED at about the same place over and over.
I am quickly approaching a familiar brick wall.
The fear of failure has kept me from taking the show on the road before.
At some point I need to go to a person that I have never met before and ask for money.
This is true of every missionary and person that is starting a ministry.
I can go to my friends first but they do not have big bucks.
Like any salesman I need to learn how to find those who will be interested.
During the coming weeks those I know will give me referrals to others.
Sooner than later I will be talking with those who can afford to write large checks.
I feel afraid of making a fool of myself.
I fear that the presentation will be sloppy.
I fear that I will ramble around and not get to the point.
I fear that will have wasted the busy persons time.
I fear that they will not donate.
I fear that they will tell others not to give.
Almost the jobs I have had were in customer service.
I know how to take good care of an existing customer.
But the few times I have been in sales I fumbled it badly.
Over the years I have attended dozens of fund raising seminars.
I have kept the handouts.
I have bought various books on fund raising.
Along the way I learned that my fears are normal.
Those who have been doing this for years still have butterflies.
The FACT is that not EVERY person will give.
Some will give and most will not.
There will be between 20 to 50 percent donors depending how well qualified they are.
SO rejection comes with the territory.
I know mentally that they are not rejecting me.
I know mentally that it is unreasonable to expect every single person to give.
The fund raising Boot Camp taught that the way to combat this is to just keep going.
Track how many contact each week and report to an accountability partner.
Over the course of the weeks and months the percentages will pay off.
There will be plenty of excitement and encouragement for those who do give.
Mentally I know this and it is central to my strategy.
BUT emotionally the irrational fear of failure or rejection has been blocking me.
REPEATEDLY the Holy Spirit has assured me that there are those who will give generously.
AFTER I get into motion and walk through this wall of fire, it will get easier.
AFTER thousands dollars are raised the consultants will help me make it more professional.
AFTER the web platform is launched then there will be lots of measurable results.
FEAR OF SUCCESS
In order to honor God and His Word I MUST tell the truth.
The pure and simple gospel message is not complicated.
But Paul was persecuted for sticking to grace orientation.
Jesus promised persecution for those who follow His way.
This dark world hates the light of Christ.
Many will love what I offer but some will hate it.
They will hate me because they first hated Christ.
I will not be the only voice of the ministry.
I will endeavor to preset what the Bible says from a chorus of voices.
I will point to contemporary and historic writers.
I will link to all the web sites that are biblically orthodox.
I will open the door to seminary students and graduates to teach.
I will gladly publish the testimonies of those in the pews.
This will GREATLY encourage, edify and inspire those who love Jesus.
But I FEAR the reactions from others.
There will be unbelievers and religious church members that will attack me.
During the coming months and years I will need to minister more publicly.
It has been safe and easy to live in the shadows of the library and online.
I am not afraid of public speaking as long as I know my message.
I do not have anything to hide.
I am willing to own my checkered past.
ANTIDOTE
The Holy Spirit has reminded me about Joshua.
Both Moses and the Lord charged him to be strong and courageous.
So I ask your prayers for strength and courage.
You can pray for God to give me wisdom and insight.
Again as I FOCUS on what I can do ONE DAY AT A TIME that helps.
My daily plans are more in harmony with my overall priorities
Surely Jesus will perfect my faith as I pray and take action steps.
As I learn the lessons of this passage they will be valuable for those coming behind me.
