As you read my essays, emails, blogs and web sites you will learn that I tend to be VERY open, honest and transparent. I was not always that way. When I first come off drugs in 1975 I was extremely shy. It was a major effort for me to talk with anyone that I did not already know well.

Over the decades God has healed me and led me to become the way I am today.

A part of my process was to spend many hundreds of hours in secular and later Christian 12 step meetings http://www.celebraterecovery.com/ . There I witnessed repeatedly that those who candidly shared their inner struggles and feelings were ALWAYS the same ones that made the most progress in their recovery. There is a saying that you are a sick as your secrets. And I have found that there is an ocean of wisdom in those words. I am sick of being sick so I seek to cast over board my secrets.

Over the years I have come to not be as worried about what people think or say about me. I seek to just be real. That includes my weaknesses and strengths. I see Paul as doing that in the epistles.

Another key factor in my process is that I responded to the call on my life that came shortly after my rebirth in 1977. As I move more into practical ministry as serving, helping and encouraging people in my daily walk I felt that something must be very wrong. Back during the 1980s those who were in the pulpits NEVER admitted having ANY struggles in their personal life or ministry. That has changed slowly and slightly. But it gives the impression that the pastor or radio minister is immuned to problems. We know that is a lie, but such hiding and denial just leads to other matters. SO I admit that I may have over reacted to that trend during my formative years.

Another factor is that my life is punctuated by God answering prayers. I would have overdosed gone directly to hell forever back during my drug and cults days of the early 1970 expect for many intercessors prevailing in their prayer closet. I treasure their ministry in my life. Those saints need to know SPECIFICS to best target their prayers.

Today we are in the midst to major chaotic changes. The stable reference points of life are mostly gone. As a society we are adrift.

I am aiming to make disciples of the younger generation. Those in their teens and twenties live in a world of raw unfiltered language in the songs and movies. I do not need to crude or profane. But nice church talk seems like a fake to them.

I am called do God to design a pioneering communication system over the web in order to communicate the truth in love. I have dedicated my ENTIRE life to complete my calling. I must walk circumspectly yet authentically.

Some people are intimidated by my zeal, intensity, intellect, knowledge and/or creativity. If I have invested as much time and energy into a sport or musical instrument then I would be performing at a high level. Also I am quick to acknowledge that is it the grace of God and His Holy Spirit working through me.

There are believers that tend to put those who ministry on a pedestal and others to tend to try to knock them off. I want let anyone know that I am in process. I am learning . I have weaknesses. I have not arrived. I have feet of clay.

There are chronic alcoholics who cannot afford to even take a sip of Champaign on New Years Eve least it send them into an alcoholic binge. There are those who cannot have a bag of cookies in their house because their weakness is to eat them all at one time. For them that is their slippery slope.

For me the slippery slope is Internet pornography. And I am not alone. Bruce Wilkerson took confidential polls of various audiences. He found that 60% of the men in the pews 30 percent in the pulpit have visited a pornographic site in the last 3 months.

For me is had been 12 months since the last slip. During that slip it went from a half hour visit to the Madona site to 10 days later staying up all night for 8 hours on the most hard core sites. I was tempted start spending money insted of sampling the free stuff. Go to the Tuesday Briefing blog to read how God rescued me due to much prayer. http://tuesdaybriefings.blogspot.com/2003_10_12_tuesdaybriefings_archive.html I am not bragging in my peity. I am thankful for the grace and God and many prayers that helped keep me from that evil.

For me to hide this Achilles Heel from the intercessors would be foolish. I am in the midst the other spiritual challenges. The enemy wants to derail me.

If you read my emails carefully you will note that I make general reference to these matters. I do not get into the graphic details. God has a few trusted people in my life for that purpose. And the same is true of the episodes of depression. The broader audience does not hear about my darkest thoughts and feelings.

Several years ago God made a way for me to meet many times with the famous Dr Minirith. He gave me a large battery of tests including the grand daddy of all tests, the MMPI. Yet NONE of them indicated that I had ADD, ADHD, bipolar or any other known condition. He put me on Welburin and another polular medication that starts with a Z. This did not help me ANY over several months.

His conclusion after consulting with the man who has an office right next to him is that there is nothing medically wrong with me. God has given me a personality that does not fit well into this world’s system.

I have talked with various professional and lay counselor over three decades. My depression always gets back to the challenge of launching a ministry. They are always amazed at the passion, planning and preparation that I have invested. They just say go for it.

The rock bottom line is that the pioneering work that is at the heart of my unavoidable calling relates to causing a major crack in the strongholds of the kingdom of darkness. The enemy wants believers to be separated and isolated. The systems that I design brings together people with other people as well as resources and opportunities. There are high level demons that have been my blocking giants. If you get the DVD by Bruce Wilkerson on Dream Giver you will hear him say that the closer you get to the dream God has put in your soul the greater will be your battle with the forces of darkness.

LIFETIME CHALLENGE
7-30-04

This quote came in my email today from GeniusQuotes.com.

These ideas resonate with me.


If a man has talent and cannot use it, he has failed.
If he has a talent and uses only half of it, he has partly failed.
If he has a talent and learns somehow to use the whole of it,
he has gloriously succeeded and has a satisfaction and a triumph few men ever know.

--Thomas Wolfe


This quote is at the heart of my lifetime challenge.

For DECADES I have EARNESTLY attempted to use the whole of my talents.

God has graciously granted me complex collection of talents that I have sought to use to glorify Him.

For better or worse there are various talents and not just one.

For those that have tracked with me for years have seen the same kinds of plans surface over and over in different combinations.

There is a central core. The way that I am wired loves to solve complex problems in systematic ways and then empower others using a harmony of communication medias. Thus most recently the design called for a Networking Hub, Information Clearinghouse and Online Lay Bible Institute.


MISSIONARY EDUCATOR
At the core of my soul are the heart of a missionary and the mind of an educator.

When as a missionary I look at the world around me I see it as bad and getting worse. Everybody and everything is naturally on a downward slope. The sin nature is every human tends toward spiritual darkness sooner or later.

The Bible is the authoritative Word of God. This is the plumb line that gives the reliable standard for real truth. A person’s opinion, feeling or background are not the genuine standard.

If the Bible is true then Heaven and Hell are real. There is only one way to avoid the constant conscious torments of Hell and live forever with God in Heaven.

The single greatest need for each human is to hear the pure and simple message of salvation. God has a WAY through Jesus Christ is reconcile every person to Himself. The emphasis on His amazing grace and by the method of faith alone needs to be kept in focus.

Howard Hendricks said the unbelievers want to hear the Good News more than the believers what to share it. Collectively and individually we are not doing a great job. We have more material and technological wealth then ANY previous generation. Yet those around us are not being presented with the clear claims of Christ.

Heaping guilt on those in the pews for not doing better at personal witnessing has never worked. They do need to be trained in how to share their faith in a non-threatening way and encouraged to weave this into their weekly routines. But that is only part of the solution.

I have attended various church planting seminars. These brave souls set out to start a church from scratch by winning their new members to Christ. In that setting I witnessed how this needs to be the coordinated effort of the entire church family.

So we are back to systems again. And the best system does not work by itself. There is no auto pilot. Sooner than later there needs to be the involvement of lay leaders. Every lay leader needs ongoing education.

Evangelism is just one small part of the full range of Christian Education for the lay leader. Long ago I used to think that Christian Education was this vast universe that no person could ever understand. While it is large and complex, it does have basic categories, known boundaries and proven methods.

As an educator I am deeply concerned that believers are not consistently growing in grace and the knowledge of Christ. I believe that many of those church members that are spiritually stuck could progress if they had excellent Christian Education materials available over the web for no cost and low cost. They also need motivation and encouragement to learn more. Plus when their faith is coupled with practical missions like application then repeatedly I have witnessed that those who are involved in outreach and inreach tend to be those who are growing spiritually.

My job before God is to design systems online and offline to allow lay leaders and seminary students to communicate the truth in love. They will equip the saints and together we will do the work of the ministry.

The emphasis offline will be on those in the DFW Metroplex for this is our Jerusalem. Also online we will emphasize the next generation. Those who are teens and twenties are online far longer than the older generation. The children coming behind them will be on yet even more. Therefore we need to prepare the way and set up spiritual resource centers and community connections in cyberspace.



MINISTRY
I am grateful for the prayers of all those supported me during the recent months as the presentation of the ministry was distilled from scattered concepts to a centralized core. Every hour was needed to get it to the state it is in today. That 40 minute presentation to the men’s breakfast was a climax of those many hours of preparation. Those graphics were like the hub that linked back to the boxes of notes in my closets.

My challenge was then and still is to raise the seed capital to build the web based platform. If 40K dropped into my life then today I would abandon the air purification equipment. I would put the ministry back on the front burner. However that is very unlikely to happen.

Last night I encountered two amazing online systems that are being used for prospecting and presenting the air purification equipment. They also are using it for training. This is the kind of interface that I had planned to pay consultants and web designers thousands of dollars to create for the emerging ministry.

It is in my self interest to first use these tools to learn how to increase my income. And along the way consider how I can adapt what they are doing for secular purposes to the kingdom purposes.

CONDITION
My financial condition continues to get worse. Until you learn that I have actually received sales commissions then the subtraction was greater than the addition.

The grace and mercy of God are enough for me. I trust that my Good Shepherd is leading me each day. He is guiding me to green pastures. Jesus wants me to develop a way to generate the income that is greater than my bills to pay off my debts.

Many people that I have met in the company got their demo units within a week or two. They had a good income stream within a month.

I have been making progress toward the proposal for the cosigner on the demo units. It has gotten stalled a few times. Please pray for the completion. I have an important meeting this weekend related to this funding.

Meanwhile God is leading me to redeem the time so when the units arrive I will be off to a strong start. Also I have been developing the document related to how these sales can harmonize with ministry throughout the week.



THANKS again for your prayers.

This is one of my life lines.

God uses you in my life in a mighty way.


Kindly pray that both Jesus Christ will deliver me from this short term crisis and in the long term bless me to use the whole of my God given talents.

Thank you.

God has taught me repeatedly that enrolling prayer support is essential. Going alone is not the wisest method.

For more than twenty years God has used answered prayers to move me along this pilgrim path. He has given me a pioneer spirit. My tendency is to boldly go where no one has gone before.

I have two closets with boxes full of file boxes with ministry plans. They have a central theme of using the best communication medias to get the gospel to the lost and to build up the believers.
 Over and over I have hit the same wall when I got the vision and game plan mostly complete. I failed to raise the start up capitol. This pattern happened again recently. This time I came closer then ever before. And all the recent preparations are still valid. As soon as the seed money is raised then the professionally designed web based platform will be launched. From that point the wise guidelines by the consultants will pave the way for the roll out

My Three Passions
7-12-04

SUMMARY
God has given me three passions
Each one is very important.
When two come together I am twice as excited.
When all three come together I am more then three times as excited.
These are the three roots of the huge complex ministry that is emerging.

In a nutshell the three are Christian Education, Missions and Media.



CHRISTIAN EDUCATION
We find ourselves in an era of biblical illiteracy.
Most people on the sidewalks in the USA are clueless about basic Bible facts.
Even among long-time church members there are often educational shortages.

The public schools omit teaching anything about the Bible.
This is unlike what had happened during most of the history of the USA.
The popular media omits, distorts or attacks biblical truth.
Until a few decades ago biblical morality was the standard of society.
Now political correctness with its tolerance for all viewpoints is the norm.
We are immersed in culture wars on many fronts.
Marriages and families are under attack.
Effective Christian education is not the panacea
However only as believers understand and apply the Word do we have any hope.

Christian Education is ESSENTIAL to communicating the truth in love.
The truth sets the captive free.
The Word of God is true and it reveals Jesus who is the Truth.
All humans are captive to their stinking thinking.
By default believers are worldly and carnal in their thinking and actions.
A biblical worldview takes learning and disciplined applications to achieve.
Only by the washing of the water of the Word can a mind be renewed.
For the truth of the Bible to change lives it must be rightly divided.
The doctrines, percepts and principles of the Scriptures need to be taught.
Believers can grow spiritual when they have correct biblical inputs.
Maturing believers will lead others by their good examples.
The Scriptures mandate evangelism, discipleship and benevolence.
Nothing spiritual can be done effectively UNLESS the Bible is properly taught.



MISSIONS
Missions is MUCH more than those few people who go overseas.
Missions starts here at home where we are to His witnesses in our Jerusalem.
EVERY believer has FIVE mission fields with opportunities to serve in each one.
Those five are Family, Spheres of Influence, Home Church, City and World.
ALL of them call for prayer and communicating the truth in love.
Love is to be expressed in word and in deeds.


Biblical Christianity is NOT about accumulating more and more knowledge.
Knowledge puff up and love builds up
Faith without works is DEAD.
The LORD Jesus Christ gave dozens of COMMANDS that are to be OBEYED.
We are to bear one another’s burdens within the family of God.
We are to love one another in real and meaningful ways as part of a lifestyle.
We are to reach out to those around us in Christ-like compassion.
We are to model Jesus how He treated the least and the lost.


Biblical Christianity is NOT just one big religious club.
Fellowship is nice but that is NOT the end of the story.
We are mandated to stir up one another unto love and good works.
EACH believer has spiritual gift(s) to be a good steward of before God.
The spiritual gift(s) need to be discovered and ACTIVELY developed.
When the happened then the Body of Christ will benefit and so will unbelievers.
As that happens then we will discover that we have need of each other.

Biblical Christianity is NOT about PASSIVELY sitting on padded pews
Eternal security has been called having your fire insurance.
But billions of people are going to a literal Hell forever.
The Bible COMMANDS believers to go make disciples.
The truth needs to be communicated in love.
Every human being seeks to be loved in genuine ways.
The love of God is selfless and desires to be expressed through every believer.
The outside world will know we are His disciples by our love for each other.


MEDIA
Jesus said that the fields are ripe unto harvest.
He said that we are to lift up our eyes and see this need by faith.
There is an abundance of hurting kids, teens, singles and seniors.
There are marriages and families in crisis.
There are separated couples that could be reconciled and so prevent a divorce..
There are those in hospitals, rest homes and jails that need hope.
There at those who are grieving that need comfort and encouragement.

Jesus said that the laborers are few.
There will never be enough professionally trained pastors and counselors.
Lay people need to get involved on the frontlines of ministry.
There are many struggling outreach ministries in the city that need helpers.
Yet there are not enough hours in the day and night to do all this one-on-one.
Sooner than later the willing worker uses literature, tapes and web sites.
Giving someone a tract, gospel of John or cassette tape can be used by God.
Media is not a substitute for real personal relationships.
But often time limits require using media as a compliment to ministry.
Plus media allows many other possibilities to be leveraged.
A pastor, counselor and layperson cannot be an expert in ALL fields.
Yet SOMEWHERE on the web there are sites that are by every kind of expert.
There are wonderful books and videos that can be recommended or loaned.
Sunday school classes and home cell groups often use a published workbook.
On the web there are sermons available in audio and video plus PDF files.

This generation has been given MUCH in terms of communication tools.
The business community has quickly adapted each new tool for their goals.
The church has always been very slow and seemingly reluctant to use medias.
Just because there have been a few changes that is no reason to stand still.
The enemy is using ALL kinds of media to bombard people all week long.
Songs and images that do not please God assault the youth.
We MUST harness communication technologies to reach the next generation.
Today’s children are required to use the Internet to do their homework.
They grow up in a world where it is normal to go online to answer all questions.
There is no shortage of spiritual lies, counterfeits and distortions on the web.
We MUST to these communication frontiers and set up spiritual oasis.
We need to be there for them with God’s truth and love.

The following is simple summary about me that appears on my web site at EcoQuest http://ecoquestintl.hostacall.com/coachingchampions


Thank you for visiting my personal website and for wanting to learn a little bit about me.

I live in Dallas Texas near Baylor Hospital. I have been here since 1985. During the early 1970s I attended Georgia Tech in Atlanta Georgia. I was born in Houston Texas in 1953.

I am known as the Resource Guy because I often provide people with the information, referrals, recommendation, links, literature, tapes or other resources that they need. This is possible because I enjoy researching.

I am single and never married. I was engaged three times and have fallen in love seven times. Currently I am focused on getting my financial life prospering and stabilized before I consider dating again.

I enjoy watching several DVDs a week from Netflix www.netflix.com . I mostly watch nature shows, documentaries and selected dramas. Plus the bonus materials are usually a treat.

For my last vacation I visited my father, brother and nephew in Colorado.

Goals and ambitions are motivating and important in a person's life. I have passions for Christian education, missions and media. I am launching a web-based ministry that shall synergistically improve evangelism, discipleship and benevolence in the DFW Metroplex. We will create models that can be adapted in other cities..

My biggest accomplishment is that during the last thirty years I have been self-taught in various fields. These include Bible doctrine, theology, psychology, management, marketing, administration and writing. And very importantly I have learned to think both holistically and in an interdisciplinary ways.

I'm having the time of my life right now by living my dream of owning my own business. This business opportunity allows me to build a balanced and meaningful lifestyle that is based on my strengths. I get to serve people directly by coaching those who wish to become champions. And I help indirectly through the benefits of the EcoQuest products.

I hope that gives you some insights into who I am.

FEAR OF FAILURE AND SUCCESS
5-31-04

The Bible says confess your sins one to another; pray for each other that you may be healed.

The Bible calls fear a sin and so do I.
I confess the sin of the fear of failure.
I also confess the sin of the fear of success.

I have been wondering why I am not eager to go out and make presentations.
A BIG part of the reason is the fears of failure and success.

IMAGES
It is like I have been behind the scenes for decades.
I have privately helped dozens of people one-on-one.
I have quietly prepared for a pubic ministry.
Now it the time to move from behind the curtains into the spot light.
It is like I irrationally I fear rotten tomatoes thrown at me.
This is highly unlikely but my vivid imagination can generate the fear.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that public ministry is God’s will.
I recall when I was newly called of God in the late 1970s.
I would pray earnestly for long intervals.
Repeatedly the Holy Spirit gave me images of speaking to large audiences.
It took a long while before I fully accepted that vision.
The few times I have spoken in pubic I enjoyed it.

At the core of my soul there is RELUCTANCE.
This reluctance is from the twin fears of failure and success.
It is like I am driving on the freeway with the emergency brake on.

I feel like a missionary that has prepared for a mission field.
I am about to go off into the unknown.
I will be pioneering a discipleship and evangelism work on the Internet.
I have never been there before nor has anyone else.
The fear of the unknown fuels the fears of failure and success.

Previous I have said that presenting to wealthy business owners is like slaying Goliath.
I wrestle not against flesh and blood.
My Goliath is inside of me.

But there is no body to go implement these solutions unless I blaze the trail.
Thus I must face my fears to turn the plans into reality.


FEAR OF FAILURE
Obviously I know how to plan and organize.
I have improved in these areas over the years due to much practice.

BUT previously I have STALLED at about the same place over and over.
I am quickly approaching a familiar brick wall.
The fear of failure has kept me from taking the show on the road before.

At some point I need to go to a person that I have never met before and ask for money.
This is true of every missionary and person that is starting a ministry.
I can go to my friends first but they do not have big bucks.
Like any salesman I need to learn how to find those who will be interested.
During the coming weeks those I know will give me referrals to others.
Sooner than later I will be talking with those who can afford to write large checks.

I feel afraid of making a fool of myself.
I fear that the presentation will be sloppy.
I fear that I will ramble around and not get to the point.
I fear that will have wasted the busy persons time.
I fear that they will not donate.
I fear that they will tell others not to give.

Almost the jobs I have had were in customer service.
I know how to take good care of an existing customer.
But the few times I have been in sales I fumbled it badly.

Over the years I have attended dozens of fund raising seminars.
I have kept the handouts.
I have bought various books on fund raising.
Along the way I learned that my fears are normal.
Those who have been doing this for years still have butterflies.
The FACT is that not EVERY person will give.
Some will give and most will not.
There will be between 20 to 50 percent donors depending how well qualified they are.
SO rejection comes with the territory.
I know mentally that they are not rejecting me.
I know mentally that it is unreasonable to expect every single person to give.
The fund raising Boot Camp taught that the way to combat this is to just keep going.
Track how many contact each week and report to an accountability partner.
Over the course of the weeks and months the percentages will pay off.
There will be plenty of excitement and encouragement for those who do give.
Mentally I know this and it is central to my strategy.
BUT emotionally the irrational fear of failure or rejection has been blocking me.

REPEATEDLY the Holy Spirit has assured me that there are those who will give generously.
AFTER I get into motion and walk through this wall of fire, it will get easier.
AFTER thousands dollars are raised the consultants will help me make it more professional.
AFTER the web platform is launched then there will be lots of measurable results.


FEAR OF SUCCESS
In order to honor God and His Word I MUST tell the truth.
The pure and simple gospel message is not complicated.
But Paul was persecuted for sticking to grace orientation.

Jesus promised persecution for those who follow His way.
This dark world hates the light of Christ.
Many will love what I offer but some will hate it.
They will hate me because they first hated Christ.

I will not be the only voice of the ministry.
I will endeavor to preset what the Bible says from a chorus of voices.
I will point to contemporary and historic writers.
I will link to all the web sites that are biblically orthodox.
I will open the door to seminary students and graduates to teach.
I will gladly publish the testimonies of those in the pews.

This will GREATLY encourage, edify and inspire those who love Jesus.
But I FEAR the reactions from others.
There will be unbelievers and religious church members that will attack me.

During the coming months and years I will need to minister more publicly.
It has been safe and easy to live in the shadows of the library and online.
I am not afraid of public speaking as long as I know my message.
I do not have anything to hide.
I am willing to own my checkered past.


ANTIDOTE
The Holy Spirit has reminded me about Joshua.
Both Moses and the Lord charged him to be strong and courageous.
So I ask your prayers for strength and courage.

You can pray for God to give me wisdom and insight.

Again as I FOCUS on what I can do ONE DAY AT A TIME that helps.
My daily plans are more in harmony with my overall priorities

Surely Jesus will perfect my faith as I pray and take action steps.
As I learn the lessons of this passage they will be valuable for those coming behind me.